With double-blind tests that we think are so clever.
But before our scientists offer advice,
They turn to their favorite animals: mice.
Now, mice are convenient, and eager to please,
Subject to many a human disease,
They're small, they breed fast, they are easy to raise,
And learn to negotiate a pretty hard maze.
But here is the problem: they may be quite agile,
But they turned out to be just a little bit fragile:
Under stress they quite frequently cannot survive:
Test them too hard - they're no longer alive...
In contrast, take bears, that in hibernation
Experience a total and strange transformation:
For months they don't eat, they don't drink, they just sleep,
While their organs lose function and zip...
Before that, they gorge themselves with great abandon,
Feeding on anything that's in the land on,
Their hearts get enlarged, but they just exclaim “pish'”
And consume a great many berries and fish.
They develop obesity and diabetes,
Their kidneys go bad, and their blood turns gritty,
But when they wake up – it's reversed in a tick!
Oh! Would that we humans could learn that trick!
So, maybe, some future researchers and sages,
Would build giant mazes in super-big cages.
Where bears can be tested to cure heart disease,
And failure of kidneys, and drugs for obese...